The best wedding day tips for grooms are about doing less on the day: have the suit, the rings and the speech sorted the week before, be ready early, and then look after your partner and your family. Grooms often get ready in half the time and twice the chaos, and it shows in the photographs.
We have photographed and filmed grooms getting ready in hotel rooms, family living rooms and venue changing rooms for more than a decade. Here is what we would tell any groom, from the night before to the last dance. For the bigger planning picture, start with our month-by-month wedding planning checklist, and for the other side of the aisle, see our wedding day tips for brides.
What should a groom do the night before?
- Hand over the rings. Give them to the best man or whoever is holding them, and make sure they know which ring is whose.
- Hang the outfit up. Suit or sherwani pressed or steamed, shirt ironed, shoes polished, cufflinks, tie, socks and belt laid out together.
- Print the speech. On cards, in a large font, with page numbers.
- Settle up. Put any cash payments for suppliers in labelled envelopes and give them to the best man or an usher.
- Get some sleep. The stag was weeks ago. Tonight is not the night.
Getting ready: what grooms get wrong
Starting too late
Grooms often think they need 20 minutes. With photos, family, buttonholes and a tie that will not sit right, allow at least 90 minutes before you leave, and aim to be fully dressed 30 minutes before.
A dark, messy room
Get ready by the biggest window available, and clear away bags, cans and the remains of breakfast. The room ends up in more photographs than you expect. Our guide to getting-ready photos explains what to look for.
Forgetting the details
Put your watch, cufflinks, aftershave, buttonhole, the rings and any letter for your partner on one table by the window. Five minutes with these gives your photographer the detail shots that tell the story of your morning.
The buttonhole
It goes on the left lapel, stem down, pinned from behind so the pin does not show. Ask your florist to show your best man how, or ask the florist to pin them all.
Suit, sherwani or safa: what to sort in advance
A suit
- Have the final fitting two to three weeks before, so there is time for changes.
- Check the sleeve: a little shirt cuff should show.
- Standing, fasten the top button of a two-button jacket and leave the bottom one open. Unbutton it when you sit.
- Empty your pockets. A phone and keys spoil the line of a jacket in every photo.
A sherwani, achkan or bandhgala
- Try everything on together, including the mojari or shoes, at least a week before.
- Check you can sit, bend and raise your arms, because you will be doing all three during the ceremony and the baraat.
- Wear the mojari in at home. They are often stiff when new.
A safa, pagri or dastar
- Tying a safa or pagri well takes time and skill. Book an experienced person, or agree which family member is tying it, and put it in the morning schedule with 20 to 30 minutes to spare.
- If you are wearing a sehra or kalgi, decide who fixes it and when.
- At a gurdwara, mandir or mosque, shoes come off at the door, so wear good socks.
For the groom’s arrival, our guide to planning the baraat covers timings, the dhol and how to keep it safe. For Sikh weddings, our Sikh wedding day timeline shows where the milni and the Anand Karaj fall.
The aisle wait: what to do with your hands
Those last few minutes at the front feel long. A few things help:
- Stand still. Hands relaxed in front of you, or one hand loosely holding the other wrist. Not in your pockets.
- Unlock your knees. Locked knees and nerves are how people feel faint.
- Breathe slowly. In for four, out for six.
- Turn and watch. When your partner enters, turn round and look. Do not worry about what your face is doing. That reaction is one of the moments couples most want on camera.
If you would rather see each other before the ceremony, our article on whether to have a first look weighs it up.
The rings: how to avoid the fumble
- The best man checks he has the rings before leaving, and keeps them in an inside jacket pocket.
- If your ceremony includes a ring exchange, practise sliding the ring over the knuckle at home. Turning it slightly as you push helps.
- If a child is the ring bearer, give them a decoy and keep the real rings with an adult.
- Hold your partner’s hand while you put the ring on, and keep your hands at chest height so the moment is not hidden.
Your speech: how to give one that is heard and filmed well
- Keep it short. Five to seven minutes, ten at most.
- Thank people first, then talk about your partner. Both families, the people who helped, guests who travelled. Then say something real.
- Hold the microphone close. A hand’s width from your mouth, pointing at it. Do not wave it as you gesture.
- Stand in the light. Not with your back to a bright window, or the camera sees a silhouette.
- Pause for laughter. Wait for it to finish before you carry on.
- Drink after, not before. One drink for nerves is fine.
Our guide to filming wedding speeches explains how we record them, and why the microphone matters so much.
Looking after your partner
The most useful thing a groom can do on the day is quietly look after the person he is marrying.
- Carry water, and check they have eaten.
- Hold the train, the dupatta or the bag when they need their hands.
- Stay close during the family photos, so nobody has to go looking for you.
- Take them outside for ten minutes at golden hour. In June and July that is around 20:15 to 20:30 in London, usually after dinner.
- Ask them to dance at least once before the party takes over.
Family: the moments that matter
- Your parents. A few minutes alone with your mum and dad before you leave is often the most emotional part of a groom’s morning. Ask your photographer to be there quietly.
- Grandparents. Make sure they are in the family photos early, so they can sit down. Our guide to the family photo list shows how to order the groups.
- Traditions. Many families have their own moments for the groom: the milni, the baraat, a blessing at home. Tell your photographer which ones your family would never want missed.
What to tell your photographer
Send the running order, the family list, the names of your best man and ushers, anyone who matters especially to you, and any family situation to handle carefully. Our wedding photography page explains how we cover the day, and our Asian weddings page covers multi-day celebrations.
From behind the camera
In our experience, grooms are often more nervous than they let on, and it shows as busyness: fiddling with cufflinks, checking phones, organising ushers. The best photographs of grooms come later, when they have stopped doing and started noticing. The turn at the top of the aisle, a look at a parent during the speeches, a laugh with friends at the bar.
So our main advice is this: get the jobs done the week before, let other people carry things on the day, and give yourself permission to feel it.
Frequently asked questions
What does a groom do on the morning of the wedding?
Eat breakfast, get dressed in a room with good daylight and be ready, with buttonhole pinned, at least 30 minutes before you leave. Check the best man has the rings, give your phone to someone else, and spend some time with your family. If there is a letter or gift for your partner, have it delivered during the morning.
How long should a groom’s speech be?
Five to seven minutes is a good target, and no more than ten. That is enough to thank both families and the people who helped, say something real about your partner and raise a toast. Longer speeches lose the room, and on film the most watched part is usually the shortest and most personal.
Who holds the rings during the ceremony?
Usually the best man, or a chosen friend or family member. Whoever it is should check they have them before leaving for the ceremony, keep them in an inside pocket rather than a trouser pocket, and know when the officiant will ask for them. A ring bearer can carry a decoy if a child is involved.
What should the groom do while waiting at the altar?
Stand still with your hands relaxed in front of you, knees soft, and breathe slowly. Talk quietly to your best man if it helps. When your partner enters, turn and watch them walk towards you. That reaction is one of the moments couples most want in their photographs and film, so let it happen.
Keep reading
- Wedding day tips for brides: the morning, the outfit and the moments to slow down for.
- 21 wedding planning mistakes we see: the small problems that are easy to fix in advance.
- Camera-shy? How to relax in front of a photographer: for grooms who would rather be anywhere but in front of a lens.
If you would like to talk through your day, book a call and we will help you plan it.
